Why do guys cheat

Now I'm married to her. I didn't want to break up with her just so I could bang other people, so my options were reduced to continuing boredom or cheating. I chose to cheat. Rather than confront my failure I chose a destructive path of a fantasy world with an attractive mistress.

I had low self-esteem. Traveled a lot for work. Felt like I deserved it somehow and it was ok because I treated her well and provided a good life. The guilt ate me up inside for years. We eventually divorced. We have beautiful kids and we are a happy family. We have regular great sex, and the only issue is that while my wife had a couple previous partners before marriage, I had none. I thought I could live with it, but after nearly a decade of being together, I found myself this year wondering what I may have missed out on.

Used protection and had all of the required tests when I got back home — no STDs. At the time, I justified this by convincing myself it would be good for my marriage, as it would stop me from obsessing about the fact that I've only ever slept with one woman.

I look at this beautiful woman who birthed and cares for our children, and can't even fathom how I justified my actions. She gave me her life and trusted me, and I betrayed her. About a month and a half ago I was out of town on the other side of the country at a week-long seminar for my job. I struck up a conversation with a very attractive year-old woman. I have always been completely faithful to my wife and vowed, and assumed, I always would be.

This other woman was also married and had four kids. She went abroad for a semester and during that time we were long-distance. This was a few years ago, by the way. A lot of foreign carriers had insane price plans and stuff. Anyway, the point is that I met the woman of my dreams and then I could not get in touch with this girl to break up with her. I wanted to really call and talk to her and show her some level of respect and let her yell at me over the phone.

It took a week until I was able to actually speak with her and at that point she was… not that mad. She was obviously enjoying herself in Europe. Follow Frank on Twitter. United States.

Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. His needs are his priority, and those needs will likely all include validation of some sort through sex. It just is what it is. When you first started dating, you found your man sexy and wanted to be sexy for him. You found ways to spice things up and let him know you wanted him. But as time went on, the novelty of new love faded and real life entered. The sex, if there is any, has become routine and lacking in inspiration, and your man may take it as a sign that you no longer appreciate him or find him desirable.

The number of women willing to sleep with married or taken men is large. When a man goes looking for something outside the home for one of the above reasons, he has no problem finding someone who will comply.

These reasons are not the only ones for why men cheat, but they can help you learn to see the warning signs of infidelity in your relationship.

With or without individual or marital risk factors there are a number of possible reasons for marital infidelity. Underlying many of the reasons, however, lie a few threads. One is the role of unmet needs. One partner may be incapable of fulfilling their partner's needs, but far too often, those needs have not been expressed. Marital partners are not mind-readers. Another is the lack of addressing problems directly.

Running away from problems conflict avoidance rather than staying and addressing them is another crucial element in communication and commitment in marriage. Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating may include:. In addition to the primary reasons for cheating noted above, there are secondary reasons that may lead to an affair. Sometimes people have a suspicion that their spouse is cheating but don't have any solid evidence. While often the best approach in marriage is to be direct, you may wonder if it will cause more damage to ask directly.

And, of course, the answer your spouse gives could either be the truth or a lie. The best approach will vary for different couples, but if you're concerned, it may be a good idea to look for some of the signs.

In some marriages, an affair is a cry for help, a way to force the couple to finally face the problems that both parties are aware of but aren't addressing. In this case, the partner often actually tries to get caught as a way of bringing the issue to the fore. Other times a partner may simply see infidelity as an exit strategy—a way to end an unhappy marriage.

Regardless of the underlying reason a spouse cheats, it can either devastate a marriage or be the catalyst for rebuilding it, depending upon how the infidelity is dealt with. You may, however, want to explore how the dynamics between you and your spouse led you to this point.

Recognizing that infidelity is a symptom of deeper issues can lead a couple to fix the underlying problems in their relationship and grow closer. If you were the one cheated on, it's critical to realize that you're not responsible for your spouse making the decision to cheat. You are not to blame for his or her behavior. Women tend to find emotional affairs more threatening than sexual affairs, whereas men are more willing to forgive emotional affairs but for both, the most common response to learning of their partner's affair is jealousy.

Even if you were the one wronged, working with a professional may be helpful in coping and recovering yourself. Unresolved jealousy can lead to resentment, and as the old adage claims: "Resentment is like poison you drink yourself, and then wait for the other person to die. Some couples can move past infidelity and move on to have even an even better relationship, whereas some cannot.

Certainly, there are times when continuing the marriage wouldn't be recommended. Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's perspective and look at why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, it's important to look at your own needs.

This can be more challenging than it sounds, especially amidst the jealousy and anger. If you were the one who had an affair, there are several steps you can take if you hope to save your marriage.

Foremost you need to stop cheating and lying immediately and own your choice. Being patient and giving your spouse space is essential.